"Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.'"
After I finished spending time with the Lord we went to a church service at Iglesia Bautista Norte. When we walked in the door the usher handed us the program for the day. We went and sat down and lo and behold guess what the La Leccion was for the day? Jeremiah 1:1-10. The thing that stands out to me is this.....When we think of old-testament prophetic ministry like Jeremiah's we often think of God's Judgement. And rightfully so. Much of the OT prophetic ministry centers around God's call to repentance, discipline and judgment for the stubborn refusal to believe. These principles can still be in play today through prophetic ministry. They are. But there is something else here that we need to consider. God appointed Jeremiah to minister for two reasons: One to tear down, destroy and overthrow.......and two, to build and to plant.
In the previous post we discussed "Seasons of Fire." The Lord brings us into a progressive baptism of Fire. He has every intention of taking things out of us so that He has room to put things into us. He can only do this through his discipline and our willingness to embrace the changes that come through it. Discipline is seasonal and unpleasant.
"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are not true sons.....No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7,8,11
The Lord has taken my family and I through many seasons of hardship and discipline. Christine and I were married on June 27th, 1998. To the right is a picture of a car that I had when Christine and I got married. This is not what the car looked like the day we got married. This is what the car looked like the day after we got married. On the night of our wedding someone (the devil) came by our house and put a brick through my back windshield. I am assuming this was a wedding gift. In many ways this event was a marker of sorts. It was a defining moment. It was a retro-active starting point to God fulfilling a word that he would speak to my wife less than three weeks after our wedding night.
Five months before we were married, starting on January 23rd, 1998, going all the way through April, 2000, my wife Christine heard the audible voice of the Lord well over 25 or 30 times. It may be more than that. I would have to go back and read through her prayer journals and count. During that heightened prophetic season, on July 19th, 1998, 22 days after we were married, Jesus spoke audibly to Christine and told her the following: ".....your trials will feel difficult and more frequent. You feel pressure like a hot fire bringing the dross to the surface and then it must be dealt with. Trust that I will help you. Stay close. Remain in me. You are my children. I discipline in love. I am taking many things out of you to prepare you. Time is short and I have much work to do through you both."
On September 1st, 1998, 34 days after that word, the Lord audibly spoke the following to Christine: "Child, do not feel apprehensive about the happenings of the world. Nations must fall. They must reap for their behavior. All nations will bow down to the Lord....You have nothing to fear except the fear of the Lord God Almighty. You continue to walk in faith and I will continue to guide your family. This will be a difficult time for you. You feel that your limits are stretched but I know how much you can handle. Remember child, I only prepare you for the time to come.....This sometimes means greater hardships and greater blessings."
On September 17th, 1998 the Lord spoke again to Christine the following: "Endure hardship like a good soldier. Your days of hardship are numbered." The Lord then told Christine that he loved both of us.
These are personal words that the Lord spoke to us as a family. Yet I share them with you for a reason. Folks, The Lord has exceeded my expectations thus far in this life in two areas. First and foremost he has exceeded my expectations on how much he has been willing to discipline us. The Lord anointed Jeremiah to do alot of tearing down, destroying and overthrowing. And I can tell you he has done the same in our lives as well. The last 12 years for us as a family has been mostly centered around God's discipline in our lives. James 1:2 says that we go through "trials of many kinds." 1 Peter 1:6 says we go through "all kinds of trials." I think the trials in our lives can be broken down into three areas: Financial, Social and Physical. I believe these are the three areas that we can experience seasons of fire in.
Christine has had 3 miscarriages. We lost our daughter Elizabeth to Down's Syndrome and a heart defect 21 days after she was born. Christine has had the trial of lingering back problems stemming from a car wreck where she was hit by a drunk driver. She has had some days where she has barely been able to walk. We have been foster parents and have endured the trials and burdens that comes with it. Our youngest son has been diagnosed with a minor form of autism. (We are expecting him to be delivered from this.) We have been shown the door in two different churches for not conforming when the leadership was in error. We have experienced on-going seasons of isolation between very few seasons of fellowship. We have experienced rejection by family members. We have experienced betrayal from false brothers.
We have lived in 5 different cities in 12 years, not by our own choosing. We have lost two houses to foreclosure, one an investment property, one our principle residence. We have had our share of seasons of living paycheck to paycheck. We've had a season where we had no established income because of unemployment and layoffs (OTR). We have been passed over for promotions and mistreated by bosses at work (Olive Garden, Sam's Club) who despised our witness for the Lord. Seasons of 70-hour work weeks at two different jobs just to keep food on the table, enduring on-going physical exhaustion while at it. I have been a night manager in retail with a season of very little sleep (Sam's Club). We have been constantly on the move both physically and in our work, not by our own choosing. We have known constant changes.
Our testimony may never make the Foxes Book of Martyrs. Our testimony doesn't compare with Brother Yun's in The Heavenly Man. Others have had much worse and still do today. Many of you have similar testimonies. We are not trying to set ourselves above others by sharing this with you. My point is that the Lord has fulfilled his word and exceeded my shallow expectations in just how far he has been willing to go to deal with our carnality and flesh through circumstances and events. He has disciplined us and exceeded our expectations in the process. Remember, I told you that the Lord has exceeded my expectations in two areas. This is the first one.....that being the disciplining of our souls. It has been a hard 12 years in the Lord. And before Christine and I got married I had 3 years of this on my own. For me personally it has been 15 years of distress, development, humility and transformation on some level. And with that, there is another area the Lord has been exceeding my expectations in.......His Blessings and its many forms. I will give you one example.
Back in 1996 I had a pastor who shared a story with me about the Lord's provision in his life. This man was praying about buying a new car for his wife and wanted to make the best decision for his family. After awhile he narrowed down his search to four cars. At that point he just prayed and asked the Lord which car he should buy. He asked the Lord about Car #1. The Lord said that he could buy it. He then asked the Lord about car #2. The Lord said that he could buy that one as well. He asked the Lord about car #3 and the Lord said "Yes." He asked the Lord about Car #4 and the Lord said, "No, don't buy that one." He then said, "Lord, I don't understand. You said 'yes' to three cars and 'no" to one. I don't understand. I am confused. Tell me which car to buy."
The Lord replied to this man, "You are my son. You can pick any of these three that you want. Don't buy that fourth one. It's a lemon." ...............From what I can remember he said the Lord called it "a lemon." Do you get the point? The Lord was trying to show him that he was giving him a choice among three vehicles, but the other one was a bad choice. Just pick one. Do you see sonship in that? Don't you see fatherhood in it? I see a father loving his son and letting him pick which bike he wants to buy, obviously within a budget......This story had an impact on me. Most of my time walking in God up to that point had been about discipline, cleansing and repentance. Love was still a foreign concept to me. The nurturing side of the Father's heart was foreign to me at that time even though, looking back, I know I was being Fathered by Him in small ways. I just didn't discern it.
Fast forward a couple of years from the time when my pastor told me this story in 1996. It is now April 16, 1998. The Lord spoke to my wife during her season of prophetic insight. He told her, "Jay has great understanding and knowledge but love is still foreign to him. In his season to come he will learn much about the ways of love." In my early seasons of development I was taking on the fear of the Lord, the wisdom, understanding and knowledge that flows out of that fear.....and some measures of character from it as well. But the ways of Love, relational love in many ways was still very foreign to me. I was still like a young man who was strong in revelation but didn't understand the heart of the Father towards me. A holy balance between discipline and his nurturing nature was still very foreign to me. In order for me to understand and grow in it I needed to take on not only the discipline of the Lord but I needed to discern and experience his Fatherhood in rest, enjoyment, expansion, growth.......
As God told Jeremiah, it's not just about tearing down, uprooting and destroying.........It's also about planting and building. We need to experience both. We need to experience both sides......A Holy Balance between both the taking out and the putting back in. We need to know lack and we need to know abundance.
"I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12,13
Paul knew both sides to the Lord. We should learn them as well.
Fast forward to January, 2001. The Father had put a bit of money in my lap in that season in my life. My wife and I were in a season where we were prospering financially for a time. We had a friend of the family that had a car that was absolutely falling apart. One day while praying the Lord spoke to me and told me to give this woman my car. Now I have to tell you I didn't want to give this car away because I had just received it as a gift from my sister and brother-in-law. I liked the car that they had blessed us with and I had every intention of driving it for many years and saving it for our oldest son Kevin. I finally had a car with a back-windshield. I had been driving that white Honda in it's wretched condition for over two years. God had humbled me and I didn't expect much more than what I had been given by others. But what I was about to learn was that the Father had a side of his heart that he wanted to show me. It was a side that, like my pastor from some years before, was going to exceed my expectations. The Lord had more in store for me than what I had for myself.
So I get this word from the Lord that I am supposed to give my car away. I don't say anything to my wife. Within a brief period of time Christine says to me, "Honey, I think we should give **** our car." At this point I knew God was confirming it so I began to pray about a replacement vehicle for ourselves. And I have to tell you, in my logical self I was looking at another inexpensive Honda. But the more I prayed the more I kept feeling drawn to Ford F-150 trucks. Honestly, and I know some of you are shaking your heads, my main priority was to stay frugal and spend as little money as possible. But the more I kept searching for vehicles and praying about it the more I kept feeling drawn to Fords. I shared this with Christine and she kept going back to the Hondas. So we went and test drove a Honda one night at the local dealership and the strangest thing happened. You would have had to have been there. The salesman acted like he didn't even want to sell us a car. It was odd. Very odd. You had to have been there to fully understand what I am saying. They acted like they didn't want us in the dealership. So I went home somewhat confused. A few days later Christine and I were eating at Jason's Deli on Hulen road, discussing the whole matter. I looked at Christine and told her that maybe I should just buy this other lady a new car and keep the one I had. But when I tried to reason that out I just couldn't get peace on the whole matter.
Christine finally looks at me and says, "Honey, I think the Lord has told you to buy a truck. Let's go buy a truck." When she said that I just felt a peace come over me, literally. So I asked the Lord for a budget and he told me $17,000.00. We started looking for Ford F-150's the next day. We found a dealership on South Loop 820 in Ft. Worth that was advertising Ford's for $16,888.00. Christine called them while I was at work. She told them I would be there around 5PM that day to see what they had in inventory and test-drive one. They told her they had them in various colors. I show up at the dealership and lo and behold they only have one truck left and it is the color "TEAL". Now don't get me wrong. Teal is nice color in it's own right but not for a new vehicle.... IMHO. I have 3 color preferences for cars: Black, White or silver.........So I ask to test drive the teal truck but they won't let me because an ice storm was blowing through the metroplex. They ask me to come back the next morning. So I leave and go home not feeling real good about this even though I feel obligated to be grateful. I just said to the Lord, "Lord, forgive me for being vain. I don't mean to make this a big deal but that color just doesn't sit with me. Help me to get over this and accept it."
Through that whole experience the Lord exceeded my expectations in bringing more balance into my life. Brethren, I have to be completely honest with you. The Lord has exceeded my expectations on both sides. He has exceeded my expectations in how far he will go to work righteousness in us. And he has exceeded my expectations in how far he will go to Shepherd us in not only our daily needs but in the desires HE places within our hearts. The desire I had in my heart for a truck was placed there by the Lord. And he fulfilled his desire in me and exceeded my expectations in the process. I could give more examples in our finances, relationships and in our health. We just don't have time.
I don't know everything and I don't completely understand the Father's heart in all aspects. I am still learning. I want to learn more. But as we go forward we need to be prepared for the Lord to take us beyond what we might expect for ourselves in both tearing down and building back up. I once heard Graham Cooke say, "God always wants to go farther than we do." I think this applies for both sides. We need to have an expectation for both sides of God's heart towards us. He brings us comfort and He brings us painful discipline. He brings both....a Holy Balance in our lives that can Exceed Expectations.
Be Blessed,
JEB
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